Struggling to Believe

This morning I sat with the Lord to read my Bible feeling uninspired. I confessed these feelings and began to do a study on the first of five words the Lord provided to guide the Complete Joy ministry, which I started just a year ago.

 

The idea of starting this ministry came to me at an Aglow conference; Graham Cooke spoke of looking to the unique journey God has called each of us to. For me, that quest is summed up in one word: Joy! God has called each of us to joy, and His desire is that our joy will be complete. Joy has been an elusive fruit that only God could nurture in my life. The Lord has used my husband, friends, and even my children to reveal what joy looks like, but only He can empower me to have a joy that is complete.

 

That is where I began a year ago. Today I am studying each of these five words: Empower, Equip, Restore, Release and Mentor. As God first talked to me about Complete Joy, I saw a series of conferences beginning in 2010 (just two years away) based on these five words. I have begun to gather things and information on the first topic, “Empower.” This came slowly as I struggled to believe that God would put such a calling upon this new ministry, a struggle that brought me to a point of either believing God or turning away from him for good. It has been that serious of a struggle for me.

 

I rejoice today, for it is God who will do this, not me. I am not well known and do not have a following that will fill the Florence Conference Center in two years, yet just the other day the Lord asked me again how many people I could believe for.  I told Him I would believe for as many as He is willing to bring! That is an easy thing to say, but a much harder thing to walk out.

 

When the Lord first asked me this question more than 6 months ago, I came upon some glass berries while out shopping. They were in boxes of 64, and I purchased one box, intending to return and purchase enough for 200 attendees. When I went back about a month later, all the berries were gone. I contacted the store directly and on their Wed site, but they didn’t know if those glass berries would ever be available again.

 

This event probably marks the beginning of my struggle. I wondered if I could believe that God could bring the berries back, thinking that if I couldn’t believe that, how could I believe for God to bring the conference together?

 

A week later, I was shopping at the store where I had bought the small glass berries. Could I believe that God would honor my struggle and allow me to once again find them?  I walked around the store looking for the isle where I had previously found the berries. That isle no longer had decorative items. I then decided not to give up so easily, so went over to another isle and then another, and guess what I found? As I walked up closer to the berries, I remembered my promise to God that I would buy all the boxes on the shelf. What had I gotten myself into?

 

As I moved the box to look at the price on the shelf, I saw it was $3 more.  “Boy,” I thought, “I am going to be spending a fortune on glass berries that I might never use.” I quickly recognized where that line of thinking would take me and stopped those thoughts in their tracks. I took hold of the box, and as I did, I saw why it was $3 more –it has more berries! There were 124 berries in each of these boxes, unlike the first box I purchased several months ago, that had only 64 berries. I took three boxes, which was all they had on the shelf, and praised God. I didn’t look at the price anymore, nor did I realize I was now believing for almost 400 attendees! I left the store totally unaware! I just knew that God had done this thing that had seemed to be impossible! If he could do this for silly glass berries, what would He do at the conference?

 

The fruit of my struggles to believe brought about an increase of faith and joy beyond my imagination!

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

Please check out our new Prayer Post page

~ created for your personal & corporate prayer request! God cares for you!

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

Right vs Relationship

Is it more important to be right or to be in relationship? I was confronted once again by this question as I read my bible. The simple answer is relationship, yet as I looked deeper into my heart, I was confronted by the truth that dwells within me. I was taught in life to survive, which meant being right. To get good grades and to be the best, you had to be right, not once in awhile but consistently, if not daily. This is also true in the work place. Being right was a mark of brilliance, or so I thought. Yet now, as I look at things through the eyes of 50 years of experience, I see being right is far less important than I once thought it was.

 

This is where I find myself, really understanding why and how I got here:  one simple word, “upbringing.”  I inserted he things I learned as a child, both truth and lies, because I lacked the complete information. I made assumptions that 50 years later turned out to be false!

 

So now I understand what is really important: being in relationship!

 

This causes me to wonder how many relationships have gone by the wayside because I had to be right. The older I get, the more confidence I have in myself and the more I realize I can live with not being right much of the time. Why is it that our friends reveal those flaws that we have hidden so well from ourselves?

 

I am in the middle of huge transitions in many areas of my life. I have changed ministry focus, emotional focus, even my church home; the only constant is my spiritual focus. I still believe in God. I walked away from having a deep relationship with Him for a while because of having to be right in my relationships with people, but now I am coming back to the Lord with the realization that being right is not the most important thing in my life.

 

I still have a lot to learn, which I think is a great place to be!

 

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

Please check out our new Prayer Post page

~ created for your personal & corporate prayer request! God cares for you!

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

 

Three Questions

PS 34:10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

 

The comments from the Life Application Study Bible on Psalm 34:10 rang so brilliantly in my heart that I just have to share them with you.

 

“Remember, God knows what we need, and our deepest needs are spiritual… If you feel you don’t have everything you need, ask: (1) Is this really a need? (2) Is this really good for me? (3) Is this the best time for me to have what I desire? Even if you answer yes to all three questions, God may allow you to go on without to help you grow more dependent on him. He may want you to learn that you need him more than you need to achieve your immediate desires.”

 

            How often do we forget to ask these three questions, if we know to ask them at all? We confuse growing more dependent on God with God caring for us. As we take steps in our lives to build relationship with Him, we will find that these questions, along with the answers, coming so much easier.

            There are real needs we have that aren’t being met; one of the biggest is being loved. I see this over and over again. We need first to run to God and learn how He loves so we in turn can give and receive love at a more profound, deeper and complete level. When we learn about love from God, oh how sweet the communion is. That is an example of what this passage is talking about.

            The next time I am struggling with something I feel I need, I will remind myself to ask these three questions: Is this really a need? Is this really good for me?  Is this the best time for me to have what I desire? I hope you will too!

 

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

 

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

 

 

 

Flipping my perspective!

This morning as I awoke at 4:00a.m., the Lord did a curious thing, asking me to stay in bed an extra hour. When I asked why, he responded, that if I believed he was my dad, I should do as he said. He added, “and it will change your life!” So I stayed in bed an extra hour, and this is what happened.

 

As I lay there, I began to think about my website, completejoy.org. and that I have been wanting to work on the “About Jesus” page, which talks about who Jesus is. I realized this page needs to include something personal, about what Jesus did for me, yet that wasn’t all that should be there. I needed to talk about why Jesus is so important to me, which can be summed up in this single thought: Complete Joy is knowing Jesus! By that time, it was only 4:15a.m.. What would I do for the next 45 minutes? I continued to think.

 

I thought about Jesus. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one gets to the Father without going through Jesus. To have a real relationship, you and I must go through the door to the Lord, and that door is Jesus! I then began thinking about what the Bible means to me. It is more then just stories by great men of old; it is a record of people who had first-hand relationships with God. To know God, you and I need to read the Bible, for it gives us a window into what a relationship with God is, what can happen and why we need to have this relationship. As this resolve came to me, I decided that I need to have a place on my Website where I give away free Bibles. I have the Bibles sitting in my closet and had forgotten about my earlier desire to give them away.

 

Now comes the hard part, putting money where my mouth is! It is easy to say we will do a thing; it is another to live it out. When I looked over at the clock, it was finally 5:00 a.m., and boy was my daddy right! I got up realizing it was time to pray for further direction, then write a letter to my prayer partners and ask them to join me in seeking the Lord about how to put this plan into action! As I got dressed, I realized that I was coming up on the first anniversary of Complete Joy in a couple of months. I don’t think this was a coincidence. It was then I realized the focus for the coming year: Complete Joy is knowing Jesus! Giving Bibles away will be part of that focus! If I find enough support, this could become part of the everyday ministry of Complete Joy!

 

I have had these Bibles for years, giving them out to people from time to time. I realize this passion will be lived out through the ministry of Complete Joy! I just have to get up and get going, first to find support so that the shipping and handling can be covered, and then later, if it is the Lord’s will, to purchase more Bibles and continue to make them available to people! I am so excited I can’t express it adequately.

 

What an amazing hour it was with the Lord! If you are interested in learning more, please contact me through my Website.

 

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

 

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

 

 

Keeping God at arm’s length

This week as I struggled in my personal prayer time, I was awakened to the fact that I have chosen to keep God at arm’s length. I have been walking through months of emotional healing after being fired. It has been a rough go. I realized that day that the more I worked through the trauma, the more I pushed God away… I have had a close relationship with the Lord for more then 20 years, becoming a Christian some 30 years ago at the age of 17.

 

In my late twenties, I encountered Karen, a friend who had this wonderful personal relationship with God by keeping journals of her conversations with the Lord. She died suddenly when her car stalled on a railroad track. Her mother, in her desire to minister to me in my pain, gave me her journals to read. Those journals taught me more about how to have a real relationship, not “with God,” but rather with “my heavenly Father.” I saw God for the first time through eyes that saw him as a loving, caring, nurturing God who doesn’t keep a record of offenses. Yet somehow, in this present time of intense pain and grief, I was pushing him away, forgetting my friendship with “my dad,” the only one I can tell everything to, without reservation, without disgrace.

 

During my prayer time, I realized I felt so much guilt that I had begun keeping God at arm’s length even though He had been telling me that I was not at fault and reminding me He held nothing against me. He loved me just the same, I knew that, yet my feelings began to take over. I had no peace about things, and somehow I figured I had to get to peace alone because I didn’t deserve my daddy’s help. Those words; I didn’t really know God, were ringing in my ear, far too loudly for me to fight by myself. I really needed the Lord’s help, but instead, I pushed Him farther and farther away. I even got to a place of wondering if there really was a God, I had pushed Him that far away!

 

I thank the Lord that He always came close and kept as close as I would allow him to be. He waited for me to realize what I was choosing to do. He never said a negative word to me, choosing instead to remind me of his provision and love. I realized what I had done that day, in pushing God away, when Annette, a close friend, wrote to tell me she was clear of cancer. As I remembered my last deep conversation with the Lord, He talked to me about a then unnamed friend who would have a double mastectomy and assured me she would be okay.  I had totally forgotten about that conversation with the Lord, forgotten how much He loved us. It was then I saw how far I had pushed Him away.

 

I began to see the lies I allowed to creep in that led to my pushing Dad away and allowing Him to only be “God.”.

 

In my next blog, I will explore this further.

 

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

 

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

Soul Wounds

This morning as I spend time with the Lord, I find myself praying a curious prayer; ”Father, my soul is very hurt and I need healing. I need you to heal my soul wounds.”

This prayer was curious to me because I have never thought of soul wounds. I know what body wounds are. They are easy to see because we bleed. I also have seen spirit wounds. When we are buffeted by the enemy, often our spirits are wounded, our faith in God is tried, and sometimes we feel defeated. Some of us will even walk away from our churches, our friends, and our God because of this spiritual wounding.

But what about this soul wounds thing? I am very curious what a soul wound could be. I have never heard anyone talk about soul wounds, though we don’t talk about spirit wounds we all suffer from body wounds as children, like it or not, falling and scraping our knees… As we grow older, our wounds are more sever, like cancer. We can and should take all our wounds to Jesus.

Again I ask… what are soul wounds? Since our souls are made up of our minds, wills, emotions and imaginations, I think soul wounds would be the things that wound our emotions, the psychological traumas we encounter in our everyday lives. This makes a lot of sense to me. I wonder why we so often see these kinds of wound as horrible? Why do we put a stigma on them, like they are diseases we can catch?

If soul wounds are the result of abuse such as emotional and psychological traumas, we need to realize they are part of life, let go of the trauma and embrace the healing. I have struggled for many years to embrace healing. , I think embracing healing is the key to releasing our spirits as well as your bodies so we can become who God created us to be!

How much weight do I give these soul wounds in my life? Do I allow them to dictate how I respond to the things going on in my life, or do I allow the risen Lord to overshadow and bring the resurrection my soul needs?  I think on my good days, I allow the risen Lord to bring healing, but on the darkest of days, when I am the most broken, the light and resurrection power has not broken through. I have to change that!

 

Jesus, I come before you and ask that you would penetrate every corner of my wounded soul and bring your resurrection power to restore life where death has taken up residence. I choose to embrace your resurrection power and not the traumas which have produced these soul wounds. I choose life — life in my body, life in my soul, and life in my spirit now and always in Jesus name, amen.

 

This is my response, what’s yours?

 

Blessings & Complete Joy,

Mikki

 

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

Guarding against sputtering and spilling over!

Today when I turned on the fountain, it worked beautifully, not sputtering or spilling over. Yesterday it sputtered and spilled over after not being used for several weeks; it also needed more water.

 

I was amazed that the fountain didn’t sputter or spill over, and this caused me to wonder if there was another lesson about my relationship with God.

 

I thought about the times when I or some other was called on to minister to spiritual needs, and all we could do was sputter and spill over rather than flow in the Spirit naturally as God intends. I have always wondered what dynamics caused this to happen. I think in this fountain I have a clue!

 

At church on Sunday, one of the pastors was asked to pray spontaneously, and the words just flowed from his mouth. Then just moments later, when the Lord spoke to me, I didn’t really know what to do with it and began sputtering and spilling over rather than flowing in the Spirit. I hadn’t been with the Lord that morning. I was overjoyed about the changes in my life and forgot all about God! Taking time to be with the Lord really makes a world of difference in how we function spiritually and emotionally!

 

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

 

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

A final note about In the Meadow…

I just can’t get away from writing about how In the Meadow has affected my life. For several days I have tried to publish the blogs I have prepared, but I can’t. I have never had a vision like this in my life before. God worked on issues that I would have spent months working through without him. I had been working/praying with people for almost twenty years and my relationship with the Lord was strong, yet these visions did something I never expected: they healed me!

I now look at this meadow as a sanctuary in my life. When life is tough, I go there. When life is a joy, I go there. When I am lonely or hurt, I go there. It has become a place of refuge in the storms of my life. I have traveled and never felt such peace in at my good friends’ home at the beach. There is peace there, but it isn’t the same. That peace is external where being in the meadow brings internal peace. In the meadow I have a deep sense of God’s presence and his plan for my life.

I also want to take time to publicly thank God for his gift of this healing vision. God has done a wonderful thing in me, and I am changed.

A true encounter with God always changes you. It comes as a surprise, like the flowers in spring. You know they are there, but during the fall and winter, the bulbs multiply and suddenly there are more! More blooms, more leaves and yes… More Complete Joy!

Blessings and Complete Joy,

Mikki

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.

Self Preservation

Since I have been on vacation, I knew that once again the fountain in my office would be out of water. As I looked at the water in the base, I saw that much of the water had gone into the reservoir. This reminded me of how when we become cold, our bodies pull all of the blood back to the vital organs to keep us alive. It was interesting to see this principle working even in my fountain, with the water traveling back to the reservoir.

When we are hurt or haven’t been connecting to the Lord, we often pull back into ourselves, breaking our connection with people and God. We do just the opposite to what will allow the joy to flow in our lives. This is called self preservation. However, to heal and grow, we must step out of ourselves and fight this natural instinct, staying connected to others and God himself. Staying connected takes much of our precious energy when we choose to stay connected with those around us who are inflicting pain. But this is not the case with God. He isn’t inflicting the pain. He stands beside each of us and extends a hand of comfort; we have a choice to take it or to preserve ourselves on our own. I don’t know about you, but I want to allow God to bring me comfort.

Dearest Father, on those days when our need to preserve ourselves drives us to withdraw, help up to look up to you and stay connected. In Jesus name we pray, Amen

Blessings & Complete joy,

Mikki

This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time. If you would like to visit our website for more encouragement and teaching, please go to: http://www.completejoy.org.