Walking in Joy

12 02 2008


            This morning as I look at my life, I realize that to stay walking in joy I have to deal with little betrayals so they don’t become overwhelming and break my joy! This is not a big revelation, rather I am stating fact in the face of decision.

            How am I going to do something I have never done before??? The three question marks emphasize my quandary! Joy in abundance is worth more to me than all the betrayal I have ever felt. I am choosing not to allow betrayal to rule my life. I am taking betrayal apart piece by piece.

            I have begun by separating the feelings from the people, something new and yet very critical.  I am willing to identify betrayal, look at it square in the face and say, “yes, that’s betrayal.” It feels and hurts like it for sure; but it is no longer overwhelming because I have cut it apart, making betrayal more manageable, and this reduces my feelings of being overwhelmed.  I am willing to say to my husband, “I am feeling overwhelmed” and know he isn’t going to fix me. But he is willing to support me while I fix the problem. 

We often forget that when our friends or spouses are experiencing tough feelings and emotions, they (Mildred, who are the “they” feelings or friends/spouses?) are good. We need to feel and keep these feelings in perspective, remembering that feelings are based on two things: first the current situation, and second, our past or similar experiences. For example,  when  children get their first vaccinations, they aren’t afraid; they don’t know what the needle means, so they aren’t afraid of it. It is only after they have experienced this pain, that they cry and become fearful before getting a shot.

            We take those same experiences into our adulthood. I have MS, and with that comes a weekly injection. I used to fear the pain that comes with the injection, but over the last several years, I have come to realize that even when it hurts, I need to have the injection, and so I go through it anyway. (and do you still fear the pain?)

            The principal is the same for betrayal.  I am going to experience further betrayals in my life, and I must choose each time how I am going to respond to them. I have spent the last 50 years reacting to betrayal with hurt and fear, and this caused my joy to be bruised and broken. Today I say to betrayal, “no more!” I will not allow betrayal to control and manipulate my life and destroy my joy, which the Bible tells me is our strength! I choose joy in the face of betrayal. I choose God and hope; I pray when you are faced with betrayal, you do too!

Blessing & Joy,





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