Finding My Voice of Decision

7 02 2009

bridgeAs I looked at this  print of a bridge structure hanging on my friend Heidi’s wall.

I became keenly aware of a driving force in my life.

The need for or the enjoyment of structure is a common thread running though all my relationships, from my husband to my friends. Thinking about this prompted me to ask the question:  “Is structure wrong or bad?”

            The structure of God’s design is wonderful. For example, the structure of my favorite flower, the rose, has its many petals, and in those petals is life for both the flower as well as the bees who visit it. Without structure or design, life wouldn’t continue from one generation to the next. Therefore, we need structure as surely as we need love. Structure created by God is not to be feared; however, structure made by humans can and at times should be rejected.

The bridge structure in Heidi’s print probably needed several sets of plans drawn. As engineers poured over the drawings, I am sure they found areas which needed to be redrawn or specifications changed because those specifications were unsuitable to handling the load this bridge was required to handle; without someone looking and saying, “I don’t think so,” lives could have been lost.

While on sabbatical, I realized that I need to speak up and say, “I don’t think so” to my friends and to my husband, rather than just adopting their opinions as mine. I need to allow myself to have opinions that will help my friends I need to remember my friends and family really do need my two cents as they process choices and make decisions. Heidi has often reminded me of this fact, yet I never understood why this was important until the morning I looked at the print of the bridge.

Realizing that my opinions have merit, it was there and then, as I sat in my quiet time ,that I decided to begin giving my two cents  to friends who would value my thoughts, feelings and opinions, especially if they came and asked for them.

Only a week later, I exercised this new skill as my husband pondered getting a new computer. He could get a PC, which required buying new furniture and rearranging the furniture in his office option. He could do nothing, or he could buy a less desirable computer that he had found advertised in the paper. This last option would fill all his needs, and only some of his desires, but the price was right.

As we talked, I said if he didn’t want to move furniture, then the first wasn’t really an option. He agreed with a sigh of relief. To my surprise, he encouraged me to continue sharing, so I told him I knew he really needed a new computer so doing nothing didn’t seem viable either. He looked surprised as I shared with him, giving him my options, which after 32 years was refreshing! Then I told him that if he wanted to go look at computer advertised in the paper, to leave his options open and keep looking, and I would go with him. We left about two hours later. After looking at the computer, he decided it had more that he like than he saw in the paper, and we came home with it that day Steve was quite pleased with the process.

Steve is beginning to share more openly with me as he, to my surprise, appreciates my opinion more than I ever realized.  I have found that my opinions are more valuable than I ever knew possible, and as I share when asked, I find joy is being a valuable part of the process!


Blessings and Complete Joy,



Please check out our monthly memory verse on the Equip page.
Calling all Oregonians please check out my Release page to see how Christians across the state can celebrate our 150th anniversary of statehood.


This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time.



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