God I want things my way

21 02 2009

            While on sabbatical God started talking to me about how I was walking in idolatry because I valued what others thought so much more then what God thought at times. I was really upset at myself for awhile and asked the Lord what I needed to do, as I did, I began to cry, my spirit was so grieved at my condition, so God and I talked about how my idolatry.


            I saw how I allowed the needs of others to come before the things I needed to do for God. I was always doing that, with my children and especially my husband. It wasn’t always noticeable to others, but God knew.

            I also knew that as I walked where God was calling me to walk I fall into becoming overly concerned about what others said and often took those suggestions, rather then the direction the Lord had given me, often causing me to get off course. I had to realize that I needed to be willing to stay the course with God and give up trying to please the world.


            After lunch God took it up a notch as we tackled my desk. As I organized God talks with me, he instructs me and he heals and strengthens me to be all he is creating me to be. I love to clean, and organize. When my hands are occupied with this work my mind relaxes and I am open to His spirit because as I clean and organize, I walk in great joy. Most days as I clean and organize; I flow into praise as I work without losing a step! Today was totally different, as God and I cleaned and organized my desk; there was no joy, only great turmoil in my spirit which gave way to an act of my will to finish.


            If you have looked at the pictures in this blog entry you see two pictures, one with all the things I wanted on my desk, my cup, my inbox and the reminders to choose to obey God, with the scripture Colossians 3:2; Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things, and the other picture which has a fountain, my Shofar and my memory verse as well as a candle.


            As I got everything off my desk, I was lead to go and pick-up the fountain my kids gave us several years ago, it had been in the living room and was now going to have to go into the garage for storage, but God had other plans, so as I brought it in my office, and put it on my black filling cabinet which sits beside my desk, where the other fountain use to sit, but I couldn’t get it plugged into an outlet. In order to plug in my fountain it had to sit on my desk… huh. I didn’t want it there, I wanted all the stuff which had been on my desk for several years, it was what I was use to and so comfortable, and being human I complained to God, and as I complained I began to feel stupid, realizing here was another lesson.


            I wanted the fountain to be where I wanted it to be, not where God wanted it to be, I was sad and upset and I went into depression. None of these were Godly responses to change, but what was worst was when I tried to get the fountain running. It made the most ungodly sounds, sort of like my complaining. There was more then enough water, it should have been fine, but it was so noisy, then I remember that was why we quite using it, it drove my husband crazy and now it sat prominently on my desk? So I finally made peace with having the noisy fountain on my desk and then realized I had no rocks which used to line the bottom of the fountain. As I thought, the only thing that came to mind were the shells I had sitting in a drawer, I didn’t like that either and all the time I could sense God saying, you are adding life. God doesn’t want his living water to flow down on the rocks; he wants his water to flow into the living, into us. Finally I was getting it, so I ask where do I put the Shofar and the candle and can I have the framed scripture I am memorizing on my desk with the clock at least. Well as you can see, these are on my desk, and most of these things I want to have sitting on my black filing cabinet. I began to rejoice as I asked and interacted once again with God!


            It was then I remembered Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things, all the things. I wanted the things of man on the desk, and all the things on the desk were things God wrestled with me so I would put there. As I look at my desk now, I see the things of God above and the things of man are lower, reminding me that the things of man are subject to God.


            I think as I sit at my desk, I enjoy the top of my desk as never before and it has been several weeks since I first put the noisy fountain of my desk, and I rejoice at the sound it reminds me to always focus on God even when it is a challenge to stay the course with God.


Father I thank you for the lessons you are teaching me and the healing you are giving me as I walk throughout my sabbatical with you.


Blessings and Complete Joy,



Check out our monthly memory verse on the Equip page as well as a copy of SOAP a bible study method you can copy and print out for yourself.
Intecessors Heart this page replaces the often visited Secrets from My Prayer Closet where you can read helpful prayer tips as well and current prayer opportunities along with posting your prayer request which will be shared with my intercession team.
This blog is part of the ministry of Complete Joy and is published each Tuesday and Saturday, usually by noon Pacific Time.



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